The nice thing about not having a dedicated readership is that I can go on long sabbaticals and no one clamors for me to get my shit together and get back to work. I haven't posted here, for instance, in two god damned years. Of course, the downside is that I can go on long sabbaticals and no one clamors for me to get my shit together and get back to work. So, you know, there's that. Of course, this isn't the only unpaid outlet where I write, but that's something every single hack writer, part-time wannabe blogger, dipshit LiveJournal writer says. "Sure, I'm not posting here, but I totally have ideas!" Something to that effect, right?
Well, I have the rejection letters to prove it, but that's beside the point.
The point, if I'm being honest, is that once you take a break from something it becomes very difficult, no matter how much you enjoy that thing, to find your way back. I never stopped writing, I just decided to get serious about my fiction. Long form fiction has always been my passion and in the last couple of years I've had to face the stark reality that if I never get serious, start submitting, discipline myself to finish the story and get it out there, then it would never be anything but a passion. A thing I pull out at parties to impress stupid people who think I'm a fucking wizard. A depressing little sidenote in an otherwise lackluster life. The decision to buckle down and get to work was easy, but actually doing it was another beast entirely. See, when I was blogging a lot and writing reams of totally unpublishable poetry, I didn't spend much time with fiction. So while I had a ton of ideas kicking around, and pages upon pages of disorganized and scribbled notes without context, I wasn't really sure where to start. I spent about two full days just sitting here, at my desk, staring at my screen, and doing fuck all.
So, instead of starting somewhere, I decided to finish. I picked up a few unfinished manuscripts and gave them a once-over and decided that Skyborn was the one I was most confident I could finish and make something with. When I was done there, I submitted it and then I sat back and waited. Like a fucking idiot. I didn't start a new project. I languished. I spent days and then weeks and then months just sort of...doing other stuff. Then it occurred to me that the idea of any writer, seriously any writer, getting published the first time they send in a novel to a major publishing house (where I honestly have no business yet) is just ludicrous. I mean, sure, that seems really obvious doesn't it? To literally anyone that has ever read an interview or had a conversation with a published writer. So I started to work with some of those old ideas, fleshing them out, really getting some solid plans together for where I could go with them, how they could maybe fit together one day.
Then I got my first rejection letter. It was, interestingly, one of the best days of my life. Finally, someone had read my work and decided it wasn't worthy! The tales are true! I can send out for rejection any time I want! There was real joy there.
So, I got back to work. I dusted off Skyborn, tinkered with it a bit, and sent it out again. To every publisher I could think might be interested. And when I was finished, something amazing happened: I didn't stop. I set that novel aside, to get some distance from it, and I started on another. And another. I decided that having two very different projects would keep me fresh, keep me on my toes and keep me working. That worked, in a way. It did let me exercise some new ideas, get me thinking about plotting and outlines. In fact, I did detailed outlines for both stories and then launched into the real writing. I'm still writing, actually. But not as quickly as I thought I would.
See, because two brand new projects was a stupid idea. Particularly if I didn't want them to end up sounding like the same idea with different, wacky names thrown in. One project stalled, the other got kind of boring, and I let them both wither on the vine for the time being. Both are interesting stories, but they're both very dark, grim, brooding sort of stories. I don't mean "gritty, realistic," DCEU stories either. These are rife with child molestation and patricide, the kind of story where the entire cast is dead at the end and you just feel kind of hollow for not being able to save them.
Stuff to write in the spring, when the world isn't already so gloomy, in other words.
However, back in August a dear friend of mine showed me a small publisher that was looking for short stories to fill an anthology for Halloween. Not being much of a short story writer, I initially thought it would be a terrible idea for me to submit. Then, in a flash of brilliant clarity, I remembered that an unpublished fat guy is no kind of writer and that my friend was giving me a great chance at changing that. So, I contacted the publisher and pitched them three ideas. That turned out to be silly, because none of those ideas was actually fleshed out enough for 10,000 words. Incredibly, they were nice, charming, funny, outstanding people who encouraged me to write one of those pitches out and submit it. Well, I did just that!
Okay, I took all three and Frankensteined them together into a single, monster of a piece. Point is, the publisher liked it and we went back and forth on the edits. The entire experience was very gentle, unbelievably helpful, and enlightening. I came away with a publishing credit and a much greater understanding of just how the industry works.
That got me thinking that I can break down some of my more difficult stories into smaller parts, self-contained pieces that tell their own stories and maybe fit into a larger narrative. Or maybe not. So I got to work plotting my next novel because I'm nothing if not stubborn. At the same time, I'm working on these shorter pieces. Experimenting. Its been terrific fun.
My favorite idea has been a series of letters from a conqueror to his wife, that tell the story of how he built his empire. Its been a lot of fun to work on. Then there are other bits and pieces of the world I explored in "The Last Son" that are really interesting.
If you're interested in reading "The Last Son", its been published in The Stranger Horror Anthology, Volume I which you can pick up here. There are eleven other, really stellar stories inside. And please, leave a review if you can spare the time. It helps the publisher and the authors get some recognition.
No comments:
Post a Comment